His Silence: When Infertility Isn’t Only Her Story

Sometimes, the person quietly standing beside the fertility journey is carrying a story of his own.

“Any good news?”

Ramesh heard those three words again.

He smiled.

It was a small smile the kind people give when they don't know what else to say.

Beside him, Sunita smiled too.

They were at a family gathering, surrounded by relatives, laughter, food and conversations that seemed to go on forever. Someone had just announced that a cousin was expecting a baby and everyone had gathered around her with congratulations and blessings.

Then came the question.

“So, when are we hearing your good news?”

Ramesh looked at Sunita.

Sunita looked down and smiled politely.

Neither of them answered.

It wasn't the first time.

They had heard the question at weddings. During festivals. At family dinners. Sometimes from relatives they barely knew. Sometimes from people who genuinely meant well.

But every time they heard it, something inside them quietly sank.

For everyone else, it was just a question.

For Ramesh and Sunita, it carried years of waiting.

Years of hoping.

Years of pretending that everything was fine.

That evening, after they returned home, Sunita changed out of her clothes and quietly went to the bedroom.

Ramesh stayed in the living room for a while.

The house was silent.

He sat on the edge of the sofa, staring at nothing in particular.

He could still hear the question in his head.

When are we hearing your good news?

He had become very good at hiding what he felt.

Whenever someone asked about having a baby, he would make a joke.

Whenever Sunita looked upset after another disappointing month, he would tell her,

“Don't worry. It will happen.”

Whenever someone suggested another doctor, another medicine, another test, he would simply say,

“Let's see.”

But there was something he had never said.

Not to his friends.

Not to his family.

Not even to Sunita.

A question that had been quietly growing inside him for months:

“What if the problem is me?”

He didn't know why he was afraid to say it.

Perhaps it was because he had grown up believing that fertility problems were something women experienced.

Perhaps it was because men were expected to be strong, confident and unaffected.

Or perhaps he simply didn't know how to talk about something that made him feel vulnerable.

So he stayed silent.

And sometimes, silence can become heavier than words.

For years, Ramesh and Sunita had imagined parenthood in the simplest way.

They imagined a tiny pair of shoes near the front door.

A crib in the corner of their bedroom.

A child's laughter filling their home.

They had even joked about who their future child would look like.

“Definitely my eyes,” Sunita would say.

Ramesh would laugh.

“Let's see about that.”

Those little conversations had once felt like harmless dreams.

But as months turned into years, the dreams began to feel distant.

At first, they weren't worried.

“Maybe next month.”

Then:

“Let's give it a little more time.”

And eventually:

“Maybe we should talk to a doctor.”

That was the first step.

And neither of them knew that it would change the way they understood infertility forever.

Because infertility is not always her story.

Sometimes, his story is hidden in the silence too.

The First Appointment

The decision to see a fertility specialist wasn't easy.

For Sunita, it felt like taking a step toward finding an answer.

For Ramesh, it felt like admitting that something might actually be wrong.

They chose a morning when neither of them had work. Ramesh drove quietly while Sunita sat beside him, holding the appointment details on her phone.

Neither spoke much.

There was an unspoken nervousness between them.

When they finally reached the fertility centre, Ramesh noticed other couples in the waiting area.

Some were talking quietly.

Some were scrolling through their phones.

One couple sat holding hands.

Another woman was reading something while her husband stared at the floor.

Ramesh wondered how many of them had come there carrying the same questions they had.

A nurse called their names.

They walked into the consultation room together.

The doctor didn't immediately start talking about IVF.

There were questions first.

How long had they been trying?

How often were they trying to conceive?

Had Sunita experienced any previous pregnancies?

Were there any previous surgeries or medical conditions?

And then came a question Ramesh hadn't expected.

“Have you had a fertility evaluation as well?”

He paused.

“Me?” he asked.

The doctor nodded.

“Yes. Fertility is a journey for both partners. We need to understand both sides before deciding what treatment, if any, may be appropriate.”

For a moment, Ramesh didn't know what to say.

He had spent so long thinking of fertility treatment as something that happened to women.

Appointments.

Hormonal tests.

Ultrasounds.

Medicines.

He had watched Sunita go through all of it.

But now, for the first time, someone was asking about him.

And strangely, that made him feel both relieved and frightened.

Relieved because perhaps he didn't have to stand silently on the sidelines anymore.

Frightened because he might finally have to face the question he had been avoiding.

The doctor explained that infertility can involve female factors, male factors, a combination of both or sometimes remain unexplained. That is why evaluating both partners can be an important part of the fertility journey.

For Ramesh, this was a completely different way of looking at their situation.

It wasn't about finding someone to blame.

It was about finding an answer.

The Test He Never Expected

A few days later, Ramesh was asked to undergo a semen analysis.

He stared at the test request for a long time.

It was only a piece of paper.

But to him, it felt like something much bigger.

He wondered what the result would say.

What if something was wrong?

Would Sunita blame him?

Would his family find out?

Would people treat him differently?

He almost convinced himself not to go.

Then he remembered something the doctor had said during their consultation:

“A test isn't a judgment. It's information.”

So he went.

The results didn't give them every answer immediately.

But they gave them something they had been missing for years:

A direction.

The evaluation showed that there were factors affecting Ramesh's fertility.

And suddenly, the years of uncertainty began to make a little more sense.

The disappointment wasn't because Sunita hadn't tried hard enough.

It wasn't because she had done something wrong.

And it wasn't because either of them had failed.

They were simply facing a fertility challenge together.

For the first time, Ramesh felt something he hadn't expected to feel after receiving difficult news.

Relief.

Not because the result was easy to hear.

But because they finally knew there was something they could understand, discuss and address.

It Was Never About Blame

That night, Ramesh sat quietly at home.

Sunita came and sat beside him.

For a while, neither said anything.

Then Ramesh finally spoke.

“I think I've been scared.”

Sunita looked at him.

“Of what?”

He took a breath.

“Of finding out that it was me.”

Sunita didn't respond immediately.

Then she reached for his hand.

“It was never about you or me,” she said.

“We're in this together.”

Those words stayed with Ramesh.

Because somewhere along the way, they had both started thinking about infertility as a problem that needed someone to blame.

But that was never what they needed.

They needed understanding.

They needed the right evaluation.

And most importantly, they needed to stop facing the journey separately.

Male infertility can be associated with several factors, including problems related to sperm count, sperm movement, sperm shape, hormonal factors, infections, previous surgeries, certain medical conditions, lifestyle factors and other causes.

A semen analysis is commonly used as an initial investigation of male fertility. Depending on the findings and individual circumstances, a fertility specialist may recommend further evaluation or discuss treatment options.

Treatment is not the same for every couple.

Depending on the underlying cause and the couple's circumstances, options may include lifestyle changes, medications, intrauterine insemination (IUI), in vitro fertilization (IVF) or intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI).

The important first step is understanding why conception has been difficult.

And that begins with evaluation not assumptions.

For Ramesh and Sunita, that evaluation had given them something they had been missing for a long time.

Not a guarantee.

Not an instant solution.

But hope with a direction.

When Hope Became a Decision

Knowing the possible reason behind their struggle should have made everything easier.

But it didn't.

If anything, Ramesh and Sunita suddenly had more questions than before.

What should they do next?

Would medicines be enough?

Would they need IUI?

Would IVF be necessary?

And if they did need IVF, would it work?

One evening, they sat together at their dining table, looking at the notes they had made during their consultation.

Sunita was scrolling through information on her phone.

Ramesh was staring at the same page for several minutes without reading a word.

Finally, he looked up.

“Do you think we should try?”

Sunita knew what he meant.

“I don't know,” she said honestly. “But I think we should understand all our options first.”

That was exactly what their fertility specialist encouraged them to do.

There was no single treatment that worked for every couple.

Their treatment plan would depend on their individual fertility evaluation, medical history, age, reproductive health and the factors affecting conception.

For some couples, lifestyle changes or medication may be appropriate.

For others, IUI may be considered.

And when there are certain male-factor fertility issues, IVF with ICSI may provide another treatment option.

For Ramesh, hearing the word ICSI for the first time was overwhelming.

He had heard of IVF before.

But ICSI was new to him.

The doctor explained it simply.

In conventional IVF, eggs and sperm are brought together in the laboratory so that fertilization can occur.

With ICSI, a single sperm is carefully injected directly into an egg to assist fertilization.

Suddenly, something that had sounded complicated began to make sense.

Ramesh asked the question that had been sitting in his mind.

“So... does this mean I can't become a father naturally?”

The doctor paused.

“Every couple's situation is different. The important thing is that we understand your results and choose the treatment that gives you the most appropriate option based on your circumstances.”

It wasn't a promise.

And they didn't need one.

They needed honesty.

They needed clarity.

And they needed someone who would walk them through the choices instead of simply telling them what to do.

The Decision Wasn't Just About IVF

That night, Ramesh and Sunita talked for hours.

They talked about the money.

The appointments.

The medicines.

The emotional pressure.

The possibility that the first attempt might not work.

They even talked about whether they were ready to go through all of it.

At one point, Sunita became quiet.

“What if it doesn't work?”

Ramesh looked at her.

“I don't know.”

It was perhaps the most honest answer he had ever given her.

Then he smiled.

“But if we don't try, we'll always wonder.”

Sunita smiled back.

That was when they realized something.

Their decision wasn't simply about choosing IVF.

It was about choosing to move forward together.

The Days That Tested Their Patience

Once they decided to proceed with treatment, their lives began revolving around appointments, schedules, medications and follow-ups.

There were days filled with excitement.

There were also days filled with doubt.

Sunita worried about every little change in her body.

Ramesh worried about whether his part of the treatment would be enough.

Sometimes they encouraged each other.

Sometimes they were both exhausted.

And sometimes, they simply sat together without saying anything.

But something had changed.

Ramesh was no longer watching Sunita go through treatment from the sidelines.

He was part of the journey.

He attended appointments.

He asked questions.

He learned about the treatment.

And slowly, the silence he had carried for so long began to disappear.

More Than a Medical Journey

Infertility treatment is often described through numbers, tests, procedures and success rates.

But behind every appointment is a person.

Behind every test result is a couple waiting for answers.

Behind every treatment decision is a family hoping for a future they have imagined many times.

For Ramesh, the most important part of the journey wasn't simply learning that male factors could contribute to infertility.

It was learning that being part of the solution starts with being willing to ask for help.

Male infertility can feel difficult to talk about, particularly when social expectations make men feel that they should always appear strong or unaffected.

But seeking a fertility evaluation is not a sign of weakness.

It is a step toward understanding.

And fertility care works best when couples approach the journey as partners not as two people searching for someone to blame.

Ramesh and Sunita still didn't know how their story would end.

They didn't know whether the treatment would succeed on the first attempt.

They didn't know how many more difficult days were ahead.

But for the first time in years, they weren't simply waiting for something to happen.

They were taking a step toward it.

And sometimes, hope isn't knowing that everything will work out.

Sometimes, hope is simply having the courage to take the next step.